I came to UC Merced because of Carol Tomlinson-Keasey, the school’s founding chancellor, but I didn’t know that until one month before my college graduation.
My senior year of high school, UC Merced appealed to me, that much I knew. There was that oblique chance that I could develop skills I otherwise wouldn’t at another university, I decided to enroll.
By the time my fourth year of college arrived, I was meeting regularly with the current leader of the school, Chancellor Dorothy Leland. Curious about how she became the leader of a cutting-edge research university, I asked, and she responded, “It was a process.”
“I didn’t have a whole lot of confidence in my abilities and,” she paused, “He did,” Chancellor Leland recalled about a faculty mentor her first year of college. “He was a great mentor, he challenged me and encouraged me.”
Leland noted that a lack of confidence as a young woman wasn’t unique to her. “We’re often socialized as women to think of others and not ourselves–which is great for chancellors and presidents–but we may not look out for ourselves. Young women need a balance.”
I personally frequent the see-saw of total self-confidence versus paralyzing self-doubt on a regular basis, so her words resonated with me. When I became Editor-in-Chief of The Prodigy one year ago, I felt that I was the woman for the job, but it took time to get comfortable. I could no longer avoid calling myself a leader. I needed to find the balance.
Vernette Doty, the Associate Director of Student Life with a focus on civic engagement, was thrust into a non-positional leadership role at a young age.
“I think when I was young–up through high school–I didn’t necessarily understand myself as a leader, but…I probably was. But not in the sense of a dynamic out front personality. I was shy, so I didn’t understand it as leadership,” she shared.
Doty works closely with students and supports them especially with civic engagement efforts. She nominated Merlyn Perez, a fourth year student, for a leadership award for her work with Merced County Project 10%, which Perez eventually won.
“She was a big help. She was very motivating and inspiring. She would always encourage [new ideas],” Perez said of her frequent interactions with Doty.
However, taking ownership of one’s status as a leader, even after proving one’s ability and having the support of others, is sometimes a difficult task.
Thankfully, Women’s Programs on campus host Women’s Empowerment Conferences and I had the pleasure of attending two over the years. It also didn’t hurt that I had so many strong women on campus to turn to for inspiration and guidance.
Anne DiCarlo, a graduate student specialist working with the School of Natural Sciences, hosted a session at the conference based on a book by Lois P. Frankel called “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office.” I learned that I was making critical missteps that were undermining to my own success. I have, since then, started down a path to eradicate those behaviors from myself and flag them in others in an effort to help.
In one short year I have made so much progress in finding an internal balance. And in that same year I saw all the room I still have to grow.
Being honored with the Carol Tomlinson-Keasey Award this April helped me put my experiences of the last four years into perspective, and made me eager to uphold high standards for myself and others. The award has reaffirmed my belief, that yes, I am the woman for the job, whatever it may be.
I couldn’t be more pleased to say that as Editor-in-Chief of The Prodigy I was not the first female leader, nor will I be the last, with Emma Tkachuk capably accepting her new role as Editor-in-Chief.
Valorie Smart
Former Editor-in-Chief
vsmart@ucmerced.edu